Sui Yu Tou Zhu

Sui Yu Tou Zhu

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Chapter 35 - What's Wrong With Me?

If something good happened at home, one might need to ask which good Samaritan was responsible. But if something bad happened, Ding Yanshou would definitely suspect his own son first.

Fortunately, his son was incredibly forthright, daring to admit to whatever he had done.

Ding Hanbai openly admitted to having been the scourge of that pond of fish. At the dining table, he didn't sit in his usual spot. Jiang Caiwei, with her keen eye for detail, noticed that her nephew and Ji Shenyu seemed to be separated by a thousand mountains and ten thousand rivers. She asked, "Shenyu, what's wrong with him again?"

Ji Shenyu guessed it was because of the Celadon Vase. He had thought that after the Jade Boy Figurine, the Jade Interlocking Rings, and all the rest, a single Celadon Vase wouldn't be enough to make Ding Hanbai angry. And yet, Ding Hanbai was so angry he stayed a mile away from him, even turning and running when they ran into each other leaving their rooms in the morning.

Only one last piece of jujube flower pastry remained on the plate. Two pairs of chopsticks went for it at the same time, then simultaneously retreated. Ding Hanbai glanced at Ji Shenyu, who had his head down, sipping his congee and pretending nothing had happened. "Who made these jujube flower pastries? How is a handful of them enough for anyone to eat? So stingy," he complained, picking up the piece and placing it on Ji Shenyu's saucer before tossing his chopsticks down and leaving.

Ji Shenyu looked up in surprise, not expecting Ding Hanbai to still take care of him like this even when angry. He took a bite, left the table, and chased after him, catching up at the main gate. Unable to dodge, Ding Hanbai asked, "What do you want? Can't even eating shut you up?"

Ji Shenyu said, "You have some too." He held up the remaining half-eaten piece to the other's lips. With the heels of his shoes against the doorsill, Ding Hanbai had no room to retreat and had no choice but to open his mouth and be fed.

Sweet, soft, the flaky crust melted away half his resolve.

He had never chewed anything so slowly and carefully before, savoring every last crumb for what felt like an eternity. But Ji Shenyu, who had fed him, was long gone. Yet he, with his peculiar talent, managed to blush furiously at the empty air.

Ding Hanbai didn't drive; he didn't dare to, afraid he would lose control and knock off the bumper again. He mocked himself as he walked. Since birth, he had always lived willfully and recklessly. He had never been a fence-sitter, and his opinions were so strong that he had to make others submit and obey. When had he ever been so lost?

He couldn't make sense of his mentality and emotions, couldn't be sure of anything, and found it hard to judge right from wrong.

Ding Hanbai tried to rationalize it to himself. Perhaps it was because all the recent strange incidents had been related to Ji Shenyu, throwing him into temporary confusion. It would be fine if he just avoided him. To avoid seeing him constantly, he had to hide a little.

Time passed quickly. Ji Shenyu's life went on as usual, yet he felt something was missing. There was always an empty seat to his right during meals, he no longer encountered Ding Hanbai's surprise inspections after school, and the small courtyard was even quieter at night. Ding Hanbai always seemed to have an endless stream of parties and social engagements to attend.

It wasn't until the end of the month that everyone was finally gathered after dinner to discuss the matter of going to Chifeng to procure stone materials.

Jiang Ting'en was now sitting to Ji Shenyu's right. He whispered, "We have school, so we can't go, can we?"

Jiang Ting'en said, "We can just ask for leave. But Eldest Brother has to be willing to take us, and he definitely won't take me." He leaned in closer and whispered, "Eldest Brother swapped seats with me as soon as he came in. Did you do something to offend him?"

Ji Shenyu gave a helpless smile. "I suppose so." He looked across the table and met Ding Hanbai's gaze. It was ice-cold, and he quickly averted it, clearly wanting no interaction. Not one to force the issue, he looked away towards Jiang Caiwei and found her knitting a pair of gloves.

Jiang Caiwei said, "They're finished. I just need to crochet the edges."

Ding Hanbai's averted gaze shot over, taking in Ji Shenyu's expectant smile with perfect clarity. He snorted coldly and said with annoyance, "Why haven't we started yet? What's the person in charge doing?"

The water in the kitchen boiled, and a pot of Maofeng Tea was brewed. Only after a sip of hot tea did Ding Yanshou speak. "I've been under the weather lately. In a couple of days, I'll have Hanbai make the trip to Chifeng for me."

The stone material in the shop was mainly Balin Stone, so the purchase volume was never small. Large quantities made it easy to make mistakes, so there was always a need for a companion to consult with. Ding Houkang said, "I won't be going either. My knees always act up when the weather gets cold."

This was clearly leaving the opportunity to the younger generation. Ding Hanbai drank his tea in silence, waiting for one of the young men to volunteer. In the time it took to take two sips, Jiang Ting'en was eagerly saying, "Eldest Brother, I want to go!"

Before Ding Hanbai could speak, Jiang Shuliu cut in, "Would your parents agree? Just stay put."

Seeing this, Ding Keyu said, "Let Eldest Uncle and Eldest Brother choose. Any of us would be fine to go."

At this, Ding Hanbai perked up. He glanced at his third brother's pretense of maturity and said with a half-smile, "Erhe will go with me." After saying this, he looked around the room, then lowered his gaze. "And one more."

He seemed to be deliberately keeping them in suspense, pondering for a long while.

In truth, he was being misunderstood; he was genuinely conflicted.

Suddenly, he raised his eyes and saw Ji Shenyu, lips pursed, fiddling with his teacup with an air of detachment. Then Ji Shenyu leaned over to Jiang Ting'en, whispering about the inscription on the bottom of the cup.

Ding Hanbai thought to himself, 'if he went away, wouldn't this Little Southern Barbarian have it too easy? Eating chocolate with Jiang Caiwei today, playing cards with Jiang Ting'en tomorrow, and then coaxing his parents... he'd be so busy.'

The long silence was a bit strange. Ding Hanbai finally broke it: "And Ji Shenyu."

In terms of age and experience, it was hardly Ji Shenyu's turn. Besides, good craftsmanship didn't necessarily mean a good eye. Now the third and fourth brothers were sulking unhappily, but Ding Erhe didn't say a word, seemingly having no objections.

Even Ji Shenyu himself hadn't expected it; it should be said he had never even dreamed of it. He looked around the room, unable to read the thoughts behind their expressions. He cast a pleading look at Ding Yanshou, but Ding Yanshou was only focused on savoring his tea, remaining completely aloof.

"Senior Brother, am I capable enough?" he asked euphemistically, the implication being that he was not.

Ding Hanbai said, "If you're not capable, then learn. If you can't learn, then carry my bags on the road."

The meeting ended, the itinerary tentatively set. Even if there were complaints, no one dared to voice them, because Ding Hanbai didn't need a "good cop" to play off of; he could play the "bad cop" role so thunderously all by himself. People left and the tea grew cold. Ji Shenyu hid in a bedroom in the Front Courtyard, making small talk and rambling on with Ding Yanshou.

But Ding Yanshou was wise and didn't call him out. Ji Shenyu had no choice but to ask, "Master, am I really going to Chifeng? I think Third Brother and Fourth Brother both want to go. It shouldn't be my turn."

Ding Yanshou said, "What era are we in, still going by seniority?"

Ji Shenyu added, "There will be other chances in the future anyway. Maybe I should wait."

After a moment of silence, Ding Yanshou asked instead, "Something happened before, didn't it?" He coughed heavily but smiled faintly. "I guessed it that day we had hot pot. Your Senior Brother always vents his anger directly, wishing he could poke the person right in the forehead. The only reason he was making veiled criticisms instead of saying it outright was because he wanted to hide it from me."

Ji Shenyu nodded. That matter had already been properly resolved, and he had no intention of dwelling on it.

"Shenyu, although your Senior Brother is fierce, he's the most forthright. He won't bully people behind their backs," Ding Yanshou said. "But others might not be the same. You were just doing your own thing, and you ended up getting tripped up. In that case, you might as well be a bit more reckless and bold, and not worry so much."

Ji Shenyu left very late, having listened to Ding Yanshou say a great deal, and having said a great deal in return. Ji Fangxu had no other children, but even he had never had such a heart-to-heart talk with him. The steady voice, the hand resting on his shoulder—he treasured them all like precious gems.

And faintly, he sensed that Ding Yanshou was very biased in his favor.

And so everything was decided. When young boys go on a trip, no matter how serious the business, they can't help but feel excited, especially when going to a place with vast grasslands. Ding Hanbai requested leave from school for Ji Shenyu, bought the train tickets, and they were all set to depart.

The night before, the three of them gathered in Ding Hanbai's room, planning their itinerary for after they reached Chifeng. In previous years, whoever went would stay at Boss Wu's house, and it would be the same for them this time. Ding Hanbai mused, "Three people will need at least two rooms. Boss Wu's daughter should be grown up by now. If it's inconvenient, we can find a hotel so we don't disturb them."

After settling the lodging, Ding Hanbai spread out the purchase orders from the past and referenced the stone material consumption figures from the last two years. Ding Erhe said, "Let's rent a minivan to go to Balin Right Banner. The demand for Balin Chicken-Blood Stone is the highest every year, so there won't be much fluctuation."

Ding Hanbai remained noncommittal. "We'll see when we get there. Maybe the Chicken-Blood Stone produced this year will be average."

Ji Shenyu felt like an outsider. He was unfamiliar with the region and had no procurement experience, so he just listened quietly as the two brothers discussed. Gradually, his heart softened, and the pride he had held for so long dissolved inch by inch. This trade truly wasn't something one could stand firm in with craftsmanship alone. Ding Hanbai and Ding Erhe were only twenty years old, yet they could travel to such a distant place to independently source materials, having to select them, negotiate with local producers—the reality would only be more difficult than he imagined.

He listened intently. He couldn't discern anything from Ding Erhe's words, but he could hear the perfunctory tone in Ding Hanbai's replies. After the discussion ended and Ding Erhe had returned to the East Courtyard, he asked, "Senior Brother, you don't want to buy too much Chicken-Blood Stone this year?"

Ding Hanbai looked at him. "I never said that."

Ji Shenyu was a little smug. "But I could still guess it."

The speaker was casual, but the listener's mind spun a thousand times. Why could he guess it? Was it a hint of a tacit understanding between them? Ding Hanbai made countless groundless speculations, then, as if out of shame and anger, pushed Ji Shenyu out.

But once the footsteps faded, separated by the door, he couldn't bear it.

Ding Hanbai sighed, slightly regretting his impulsive decision to choose Ji Shenyu. On this trip, he probably wouldn't be able to bully anyone else; instead, he would just be tormenting himself. He shook his head and started packing his clothes. When he opened the wardrobe, he saw an unopened bag. It was the cotton-padded jacket he had bought for Ji Shenyu.

It would be perfect to wear in Inner Mongolia. But what should he say when he gave it to him?

Ding Hanbai stood before the wardrobe, his usual eloquence seemingly gone, rehearsing opening lines in his mind over and over. 'Forget it,' he thought. He grabbed the bag. What was there to say? He'd just drop it off and leave. Wear it or don't.

He strode next door. As he reached the entrance, he heard Jiang Caiwei's voice inside.

Jiang Caiwei had come to deliver the gloves. They were freshly knitted, and Ji Shenyu had put them on and was unwilling to take them off. "Thank you, Little Aunt," Ji Shenyu said, clearly delighted. "You stuffed them with so much cotton, they're not so big anymore."

They had originally been knitted for Ding Hanbai, which was why they were big. Jiang Caiwei smiled sheepishly. She helped pack his clothes, reminding him, "Inner Mongolia is cold, so bring more thick clothes. If you don't have enough, you can buy more when you get there. Don't endure it if you're cold or hungry, just tell Hanbai."

Ji Shenyu replied, "I won't be cold wearing these gloves."

Ding Hanbai wished he could kick the door open. Why was this Little Southern Barbarian never sweet-mouthed with him? And Jiang Caiwei, so proud of knitting a pair of stupid gloves. She could have delivered them any time, but she had to choose this moment to cut in line ahead of her own nephew!

He grumbled to himself outside the door but didn't go in, waiting until late in the evening when Jiang Caiwei finally left.

Ji Shenyu was still holding his gloved hands contentedly. When he saw Ding Hanbai enter, he said without thinking, "Senior Brother, look at the gloves Little Aunt knitted for me, they're so thick!"

Ding Hanbai slammed the door shut with a kick. "A pair of stupid gloves, is it really worth being that happy?"

Ji Shenyu lowered his head in embarrassment, thinking Ding Hanbai found him unsophisticated. When he looked up again, Ding Hanbai had walked up to him and shoved a bag into his hands. It was a beige cotton-padded jacket with a large hood and two pockets, heavy in his arms.

"For me?" Ji Shenyu had never worn such a thick piece of clothing before. He was both surprised and delighted.

Ding Hanbai was placated by this look of joyful surprise and softened his tone. "Try it on."

Ji Shenyu asked, "Did you buy this for me specifically because we're going to Chifeng?" He unzipped it and put it on. The inside hadn't warmed up yet, but he already felt its warmth. "It seems a little big, but I like it a lot."

Ding Hanbai pulled the jacket straight. "Idiot, of course it's big over just a shirt. Try it again with a sweater on." A selfish thought suddenly arose in him, and he said deliberately, "It wasn't originally for you. I bought it for Master Liang's apprentice."

Ji Shenyu said, "But I am Master Liang's apprentice."

Ding Hanbai deliberately stressed, "I didn't know that when I bought it. I was wholeheartedly buying it for someone else. If I had known it was you, I wouldn't have bought it."

The sweater felt a bit prickly in Ji Shenyu's hands. Either way, it was for him, but hearing Ding Hanbai say it like that, he felt an inexplicable sense of disappointment. "If there really had been someone else, you wouldn't have given this jacket to me?" he asked in return. He knew the answer, but knowing it only made him stubborn. "I don't like it that much either."

The atmosphere froze. Both of them felt a sourness in their hearts, each for different reasons.

Ding Hanbai always had to have the upper hand in a war of words. "If you don't like it, then forget it. It's not like I'm forcing you to take it." With the conversation having reached this point, it had circled into a dead end. Ji Shenyu's embarrassment was plain to see as he rolled up the jacket and stuffed it back into Ding Hanbai's hands.

With one hand, Ding Hanbai grabbed the jacket; with the other, he grabbed Ji Shenyu's hand from underneath it. "Are you angry?" he asked.

Ji Shenyu couldn't break free and shook his head nonchalantly. Ding Hanbai's selfish impulse was just a desire to see the other person get jealous. Jealousy meant he cared. He had enjoyed it enough, but he couldn't actually take the jacket back.

"Aren't you curious? I bought it for someone else, but the size is based on you," he said.

Ji Shenyu didn't believe him. "Then if you bought it so long ago, why are you only giving it to me now?"

'He'd been so tormented these past few days, a tangled mess of emotions, how could he have thought about giving a gift?' he thought. Unexpectedly, Ji Shenyu wasn't finished. He pressed on, "You've been avoiding me, do you think I don't know? If the Celadon Vase made you that angry, I'll never mention it again. I'll pay you back the thirty thousand yuan little by little. Can you just stop being so passive-aggressive with me?"

A nerve twitched in Ding Hanbai. "How have I been passive-aggressive?"

Sitting elsewhere during meals, his gaze cold but silent, his words all argumentative... Ji Shenyu kept these thoughts to himself. The hand holding his was very hot, so hot it flustered him. Suddenly letting go, Ding Hanbai picked a cotton top from the wardrobe and told him to put it on under the sweater.

Ji Shenyu had already lost the mood to try it on. He took it but didn't move.

Ding Hanbai softened. "I promise I won't be passive-aggressive anymore. We're about to leave. You're not going to be difficult with me the whole trip, are you?"

Even when he spoke softly, this person was annoying. It was clearly his own mood that was erratic, and he had started the argument, yet he was blaming the other for being difficult. Ji Shenyu decided to let it go for now. He looked up, trying to gauge if Ding Hanbai was being sincere. After a moment, he said, "It should fit. I'll try it on after my shower."

Ding Hanbai insisted, "Try it now. Let me see."

Ji Shenyu had a fleeting illusion—why did Ding Hanbai's gaze seem so intense? He had no choice but to agree, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. Ding Hanbai stared openly at his shoulders, his chest, the slender, resilient arms raised to put on the clothes. He wanted to trap him in this small space, to keep Ji Shenyu captive right under his nose.

Ji Shenyu pulled on the sweater, his hair now full of static. Finally, he put on the padded jacket, looking like he was hidden in a cocoon, completely defenseless. And he was indeed defenseless. When Ding Hanbai drew near and lifted him into his arms, he could only let out a cry of surprise.

He asked, "What are you doing?"

Ding Hanbai didn't answer. "Do you like the gloves or the jacket more?"

Ji Shenyu said, "I like them both."

Ding Hanbai squeezed him until it hurt. "You can only choose one." He had no confidence at all, terrified of hearing the answer he didn't want. "If you don't answer well, I'll throw you into the pond to spend the night with those dead fish."

How could this person be so awful? Ji Shenyu said fiercely, "The jacket! I love it to death!"

Ding Hanbai put him down. He didn't explain the reason for the hug, just watched him in silence. He knew Ji Shenyu's answer was just one given to suit the situation; at this moment, he didn't dare hope for sincerity.

Who would have thought that as Ji Shenyu turned his back to change, he would mutter, "I packed a few books to read on the road, and the Gold Bookmark is tucked right inside. That Amber Pendant also dangles from my bag every single day. You have to threaten me just to answer if I like something? Which of the things you've given me do I not like? I wish I could use them all every day. You, you... this person—"

Ding Hanbai spun Ji Shenyu around, his emotions boiling over. "What's wrong with me? Do I make you hate me?"

Ji Shenyu said warily, "...Are you trying to trick me again? I don't hate you!"

'Don't hate...' Ding Hanbai's mind spun. 'Doesn't 'don't hate' mean 'like'? Doesn't 'like' mean 'love'? Doesn't 'love' mean 'love to death and back'? And doesn't 'love to death and back' mean it has to be him and no one else?'

He was crazy, he had lost his mind!

He had developed feelings... he had taken it all seriously.


Kiyo
Kiyo

I'm Kiyo ٩(。•́‿•̀。)۶ I'm just here to binge awesome system novels as fast as possible. I hate waiting for the next chapter, so I work to deliver fast and frequent updates for you to enjoy. My goal is simple: more story, less waiting!

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