Jiang Cheng did not want to take this phone call. Ever since he came here, no, it should be said, ever since he found out he was adopted, he felt it was difficult to face Shen Yiqing again, and he was also unwilling to face Shen Yiqing again.

Between him and that family, there were no major contradictions, but the strict discipline that was almost harsh ever since he was young, the cold atmosphere at home where he could not truly relax even after coming home, plus those latent imprints of Li Baoguo inside his body... Perhaps it was because of these reasons that he probably entered the so-called rebellious period since elementary school, and kept "rebelling" until he left, still not done rebelling.

He did not know what the atmosphere was like at home when he was not there, but as soon as he walked in the door, he could feel the irritation, and he would subconsciously bristle with aggressiveness all over.

The warmth, stability and relaxation that family gave him was probably far less than the Pan Zhi's family where his parents played mahjong for most of the week.

Other than his grades, he probably had nothing else that could satisfy his parents anymore. His relationship with his parents was like being forced to participate in a war commanded by them, but he never won.

So he took grades very seriously. No matter how much of a mess he was usually, when it came to exams, he would do his best. In over a decade of "war", this was his only stronghold.

But the last explosive argument still severed the last thread of emotion between him and that family.

Previously, he always thought that when Dad... When Jiang Wei got pneumonia it had nothing to do with him, it was just a coincidence that it happened after their fight that almost became physical. And the content of the argument was nothing more than him skipping class. He was furious that Shen Yiqing always attributed this to him.

But now that he thought about it, maybe it was not completely unrelated.

Maybe it was because of the long-term depression. The adopted child never really integrated into the family after all, and was always rebelling unpredictably under their upbringing. It must have been exhausting.

Jiang Cheng picked up the cell phone on the bedside table that had gone dark. He was silent.

If he didn't know he was not a biological child, if he didn't come back here, maybe he would still struggle in that family as before, still aggressively rebelling.

But now it was as if he had finally jumped out of a story. Looking back on the past decade, both his own behavior and everyone's behavior in the family seemed to make sense.

The phone rang again. It was still Shen Yiqing.

Jiang Cheng held the phone and looked at it for a while, then swiped the screen with his finger and answered the call, "Hello?"

"Xiao Cheng?" It was Shen Yiqing's voice on the other end.

"Yes." Jiang Cheng responded.

Gu Fei got up and walked out of the bedroom, gently closing the bedroom door.

Jiang Cheng leaned back in his chair. Actually, it hadn't been that long since he had no contact. On the other end, Shen Yiqing's voice sounded somewhat unfamiliar even though he could imagine her frowning.

He suddenly felt melancholy, realizing that intimacy that failed after over ten years, yet becoming estranged was so simple.

"How are you now?" Shen Yiqing asked.

"Pretty good." Jiang Cheng replied.

"Then... how about Li Baoguo?" Shen Yiqing asked again.

Jiang Cheng frowned. He didn't want Shen Yiqing to know about this. He was afraid of being asked again, what happened, why, and then what...

Without waiting for Jiang Cheng's reply, Shen Yiqing said again, "Did he... commit suicide?"

"Yeah." Jiang Cheng responded.

"What happened?" There was the imagined frown in Shen Yiqing's voice.

"I don't know," Jiang Cheng closed his eyes, "He had lung cancer and no money to treat it."

Shen Yiqing was silent for a while before speaking again, "Was it related to you?"

"What?" Jiang Cheng was startled.

"Was his suicide related to you in any way?" Shen Yiqing asked.

"What the fuck?" Jiang Cheng was extremely shocked.

He heard Shen Yiqing's very dissatisfied sigh over his dirty words on the receiver, "Tell me the truth, although you're not in this family anymore, but..."

"What truth do I tell?" Jiang Cheng felt his brain was a little unclear after staying up all night, he couldn't figure out Shen Yiqing's logic in this question at all. "What truth do you want to hear?"

"Xiao Cheng," Shen Yiqing said, "Your brother called me."

"Who the fuck is my brother!" Jiang Cheng yelled. The confusion of suddenly understanding everything yet nothing at the same time gave him an instant urge to explode.

"Calm down!" Shen Yiqing also raised her voice, "I don't want to hear you yelling hysterically again!"

It was not surprising that Li Hui called Shen Yiqing.

What Li Hui said to Shen Yiqing was unknown. Anything he said would not be surprising.

No matter what Li Hui said, Shen Yiqing did not believe it.

But what made Jiang Cheng erupt suddenly was that Shen Yiqing did not believe him either.  

Her call was just to confirm.

Why did Li Baoguo commit suicide less than a year after he came back.

Why would Li Hui call and say...

"Fine, I'm calm." Jiang Cheng took a deep breath and felt around his body for a cigarette. Not finding one, he got up and opened the bedroom door.

Gu Fei was standing by the window in the living room looking at the moon. Hearing the door, he looked back.

Jiang Cheng walked over, took out a cigarette from his pocket, put it in his mouth. Gu Fei took out a lighter and helped light it for him.

"Can you tell me what Li Hui said first?" Jiang Cheng turned around back into the bedroom and closed the door.

"You..." Shen Yiqing should have heard the sound of the lighter and realized he was talking with a cigarette in his mouth.

"I'm smoking now," Jiang Cheng said, "I'm sorry, I can't help it right now."

I'm sorry.

This was probably the phrase he had said the most at home before. Every time after failing to "seize the high ground", he would put out this sentence first.

After a long time and many times, the three words I'm sorry sometimes even carried a sense of anger that made him want to laugh. Just like when he vented and yelled a string of I'm sorrys to Gu Fei by the river that day. Just like now he would feel irritated saying I'm sorry to Shen Yiqing.

In some occasions, I'm sorry had become his way of expressing emotions.

It was somewhat ridiculous.

"Li Hui said you took 30,000 yuan from Li Baoguo," Shen Yiqing stopped beating around the bush and said it directly, "Li Baoguo's money to save his life. Is that true?"

Although Jiang Cheng could guess what Li Hui must have said, nothing more than money money money money money, hearing Shen Yiqing say it so directly still made him feel blocked up inside.  

There was a faint buzzing in his brain, his chest felt stuffy and suffocated, suffocating him to the point where he suddenly wanted to laugh.

The nausea almost made him reach for the cup on the table and gulp down mouthfuls of cold water.

"You've had contact with Li Baoguo before," Jiang Cheng took a breath and controlled his emotions, "When you adopted me, and withdrew the adoption, you should know what kind of person he was."  

Shen Yiqing did not speak.

"Whether he had 30,000 yuan or not aside, would he put money somewhere I could take it?" Jiang Cheng took a hard drag on the cigarette, "Even if you don't know what kind of person he was, after raising me for seventeen years, you should at least know by now when a dog you raised will bite and when it will wag its tail!"

"Xiao Cheng," Shen Yiqing sighed, "I know you feel uncomfortable about me asking like this, but some things must be clarified before I can decide what position to take."

"I didn't take his money. His suicide had nothing to do with me either. I gave him money when he was sick, and I gave money to Li Hui when he died too." Jiang Cheng said.

Saying this made him suddenly feel very wronged, his nose sour.

Facing this woman he had called mother for seventeen years, he still had to explain to her things that he thought she should know very clearly.

Although this was the kind of person Shen Yiqing was, at this moment, Jiang Cheng was deeply disappointed again.